Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful moms, moms-to-be, and people who take on the role of a mom out there! It takes a special person to be a great mom. I am thankful to have an incredible mom who blesses me on a daily basis, and I could never thank her enough for all that she does for my family.
To those out there who struggle with this holiday for whatever reason, know that I am thinking about you especially today. I know people who have broken relationships or who are desperate to become a mom, and I am thinking about those brave women who have to watch as everyone else celebrates and changes their Facebook profile photos or posts pictures of their mom on Instagram. I’m sure days like today only add salt to the wounds, but I hope and pray that better days are ahead and the holiday will soon be a reason for joy.
I believe that my mom deserves an extra bit of recognition today. It takes a fierce momma to deal with a kid who has a chronic illness. I don’t think she looked at my face when I was born and envisioned countless nights on tiny hospital beds or endless days filled with worry. She never planned on having to watch as her daughter screamed bloody murder while she was forced to stand there, unable to help. I’m pretty sure she never imagined she’d be sending her child across the country to the middle of the desert at age 15, to Nashville at age 16, or to Cleveland multiple times, all for lengthy stays with limited contact. In her dreams about becoming a mom, I’m positive that RSD, eating disorders, or amputation never crossed her mind. She never signed up for any of this, and yet, that’s what she’s had to deal with.
My mom has handled all of my issues with such love and grace. She has dealt with horrible doctors, crappy sleeping situations, distance from her family and other kids, and messy situations…all for me. She flew me all the way to Arizona and had the courage to walk away from me, knowing that leaving her daughter in this unfamiliar place was what was necessary to save my life. When that place did its job as being “life support” temporarily but failed in the long run, she once again took me to a new state and said goodbye with tears in her eyes. It’s not in a (good) mother’s nature to be willing to send her children away, but she did it because she knew that that was what I needed. She sacrificed her own pain and heartache for the possibility that I would have a better life.
When I was told that I needed to have my leg amputated, my mom stood beside me. She is the one who insisted that my doctor’s appointment be moved up to an earlier date, and without that, I very well could have died from the infection that was invading my body. She agreed to support me in my decision to make it a positive experience. I can’t imagine that it’s easy to watch your daughter being wheeled into an Operating Room, knowing that she’ll come out with a missing limb, but she let the doctors do their job. She’s been the best amputee momma out there, supporting me through it all.
I can’t even imagine the amount of time my mom has spent praying for me, crying for me, and worrying about me. She had to deal with my anger and harsh words toward her when I was writhing in pain, both physically and emotionally. She had to listen as I screamed and shouted about how much I wished I were dead, and she often had to go against my own (unhealthy) wishes because she knew what was best for me.
My mom has been through so much but she continues to embrace life with a smile. Rather than giving up when things got tough, she pressed on and has served as an encouragement and inspiration to those around her. She always reminds me how much I am loved and how proud she is to be my mom, even when I’ve put her through hell and back. I will never fully fathom how strong she is and the deepness of her love and sacrifice for my family.
Happy Mother’s Day, Momma. I look forward to so many more memories and fun times together in the future. Keep up the good work, because you are one outstanding woman. ❤